Crying, Laughing in Malacañang by Critically Ill Patient

I decided to resume my sojourns that were stopped when I had flying over fatigue when I was in Europe. Just think feasting on a table full of nearly untouched leftovers (the best of French and German, Romansh - Swiss canton of Grisons - cuisine). Then gorging just a few gallons of 100 year old or older wine. Haay! It was a feast without anyone to share it with.  (That's my problem with being a member of the cawacwacan clan, duh!)

I landed in Malacañang one night after the elections and I was shocked after hearing a kind of wolfen howl from one of the rooms in that place famously known as a snake pit.

A huge ambulance vehicle was there and a lot of people in white - apparently doctors and nurses complete with nurse caps. They all appeared to be discussing a "patient". Word went around back and forth about "blasted Cabinet Secretaries not attending Cabinet Meetings of President Noy".

"Galit na galit talaga!" was the buzzword. "Inaatake siya!" was a scare word. "Baliw na baliw na talaga!" was repeated many times as a pejorative, it seemed from my own take of the situation. "Sabi ng PSG 'Basted' siya ni Mam Leni Robredo kahapon. "May mga iba na ako no! sabi daw ni Mam Leni." I wish I am updated with chismis (gossip), didn't get that much.

"Walang nangyari sa kanila daw." Some said, "Talaga, walang nangyari? Owwws?"  That however, I did not understand.

One Very Critically Ill Patient in Malacañang

When I snuck my latest newly minted Sam--- mobile phone into a crack on the roof, this was the image I got. It was of the idiot who got himself installed in the Philippines' highest office by accident and by fraud.

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A Little Nostalgic Journey

 

Of all the cawacwacan I know, no one seems to have the same class and ability as Yours Truly, who models (and now does Designs, a promotion for moi) and jetsets among Kings, Princes, Sultans, Sheikhs, and Presidents, Prime Ministers, oh as well as too many unmentionable pseudo Mr. and Ms. Big Time.

The ones they call the closest friends of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, the illuminati, are the real Mr. and Ms. Big Time. Have you ever heard of fake royalty? Wow, they have lima-singko (five pieces a nickel) in Italy, even Sweden, Russia, Spain, France and many other places.

I will never miss the real ones from the fakes. Aside from being a part of my cawacwacan clan, I think I have a rare talent for being born from my Nanay and Tatay with a photographic memory. Hmm, stop smirking there inggit lang kayo (you're just jealous).

You wouldn't believe it but some of the fake royalties I saw have Filipina domestic helpers as wives and girl friends and fiancees.  Pero, the ones who are doing the huthut (golddigging) are the fake royals!  OMG! Imagine our poor little Pinay house helps falling deep into a trap and becoming sex slaves and milking cows.

Hey, my dear beloved Filipinos, please help educate all our relatives that there are real fake royalties and fake everything else out there! Look at the fake 'rich Kuryanos' and 'heir to riches Hapon' etc. etc. that turn into frogs and sadists when our Filipinas marry them through mail order bride companies. Tsk, tsk.

Anyways, enough for those blasted bad marriages, basta don't let our Pinays be victims abroad anymore.

In my last sojourn in Switzerland, after a really glitzy fashion show where moi was the star of the event, just being modest, I really got into bad, bad shitty fix. There was this suave, about 50ish handsome, not yet balding but almost there, denim clod man.  He was in the company of what looked like his dad, a 80ish guy holding a walking cane.

This guy seemed familiar to me, as if he was one of those I saw that owned a 200 square meter unit at Bonifacio Global City and who always ate at one of the restos at 9th Av. in the same place. My condo is just above his fav resto so I trailed him from there to his unit. His property is long and his balls are small, so good for me. But we never got to get introduced properly.

So anyway, he was one of those from the crowd that eyed me with real delish in his face, his whole body - at least it seemed to me. (Banidosa. So what, hmp.)

I trailed him when it was nearly time for my getaway (so I slacked, what then) and ended up in a villa on the outskirts of Zurich. (Geneva is the political capital but Zurich, my fav city is the Swiss fashion capital - Beste Art und Weise Stadt der Welt).

There they were, dining like there was no tomorrow, my belly ached.

Suddenly, like a spy, my ears turned hot when they mentioned the word "Aquino"!  Uy, wow, I said, that was something I must listen to!

So I tried to insinuate myself into the insides of the villa using all my powers of concentration and shapeshifting abilities from my cawacwacan heritage, thanks Lola, Nanay and all my forebears!

I did it, finally! I was inside, posing as a harmless ... (secret), perched on the high ceiling of my crush - I wasn't really sure yet if he is the same guy but my gut is never wrong.

So I listened while they had their over-supper chat and post-meal beer and wine swigging. They had little appetite for the mountains of food on the table, I found out later, but they appeared to be starved when it came to their alcohol. They drank and drank until the wee hours.

I saw some of the documents they glossed over and when the two retreated around the time nearing sunrise (very bad time for me), I sneaked up on their leather cases and read and read and read as if also, there was no tomorrow.  For several times I got startled by noises coming from nowhere. But I took a photo with my necklace cellphone of the top page of the largest document file I snuck out. It looks like this:

Then I went to the cellar where they kept their wines, drank some from the bottles after gorging myself from their tables above and pretended to be a mouse and slept.

When nighttime came again, I went home and wrote down this part of one document from memory. The title of the document was Philippinen wirtschaftliche Supermacht bis 2020:

 

Amongst the factors, that helped torpedo the transfer of Philippine deposits from one country alone, ours: Switzerland, to the Philippines was the special request of Madame Cory Aquino as President of the Philippines to Herr Minister Peter Muller of the Swiss Ministry of Finance to allow the transfer of funds to pass first a conduit account and thereafter to the Philippine Government account.

Herr Minister Muller asked Madame Cory Aquino if she could send over to his office the details of the conduit account Madam Aquino wanted the Swiss deposits to pass through.

Madam Aquino gave Herr Muller just the numeric of a Swiss Bank Numbered Account. Aside from the numeric, nothing else was given by Madam Aquino. Herr Muller forwarded the numbered account to the Honorable Switzerland Superior Court and awaited the ruling by the Court. After receiving the awaited response, Herr Muller proceeded to call Madam Aquino and stated thus:

Philippinen "Perspektiven der Wirtschaftssupermacht - Status und warum die Geldtransfers Marcos Schweizer wurden nach 1986 Gestoppt

The Philippine President’s special request was denied by the Honorable Swiss Superior Court on the premise that the Court's findings showed that the numbered account Madam Cory gave was a private, personal account opened by and for the use of Madam Cory Aquino as a private citizen and is not imbued with any public interest and will not serve the public welfare.

The transfer of the funds from Switzerland to the Philippines was stopped by the Honorable Swiss Superior Court indefinitely; up to now no significant transfer ever took place any more. To compound the difficult situation the Honorable Switzerland Superior Court was in, Madam Aquino, from the very words of Mrs. Imelda Romualdez Marcos herself, was extremely thoughtful for herself and her own relatives and best friends.

The legal documents prepared by lawyers and other interested parties such as then Solicitor General Francisco Chavez, Atty. Franklin Drilon for the Honorable Superior Court and the Government of Switzerland reveal each Madam Cory relative was named as Beneficiary to receive at the very least 1% of the total Marcos deposits.

However, for such relatives the share sometimes went higher than 1% specially for Madam Cory herself and her children, relatives Jose S. Cojuangco, Jr., Margarita Cojuangco, etc. etc.

Solicitor General Chavez, Atty. Franklin Drilon, Philippine Delegate to the Asian Development Bank Atty. Joker Arroyo, and scores of other hangers on were to receive at least 1% per person.

All told, these recipients would receive a tremendous percentage of the Switzerland deposits of the late Pres. Ferdinand Edralin Marcos.

To complicate all these matters, the United States of America supposed designated Representatives at a later date, tried to insinuate themselves into the deal and was demanding 42% of all the hidden wealth in both the United States and Switzerland claiming that the redemption currency was after all in United States Dollars.

Today, under the new administration, the Philippines can set sights on being a distinguished and economic might in the international community. The Philippine nation, as small as it is, has the capability and the wherewithal to achieve a very high, respected status in the global economic circuit.

H.H. M.

Geneva, Switzerland

I read about the accounts of the Philippines now lying dormant in Switzerland.  I read through all the documents saying there were deposits in more than 170 countries all over the world that up to this day have not been touched at all.

Hundreds of pages I ran through contained the names of all those banks.  How did Switzerland get hold of all the names of all those banks?  There were nearly or more than a thousand of them all in all!!!  Small and big, then very, very big banks. And all those amounts, very staggering!!!  I forgot I was a wacwac.

To me who has earned around a few million in foreign money - my best incomes were in Shanghai, the best fashion city in the whole of Asia - I am true true truly humbled. OMG!!! All those zeroes, Aguuuuuuuuuy!!! If just a pinch will fall into my bag, ayayaaay!!! I'd stop working altogether and even promise God, I will no longer be a wacwac anymore.  Hmmm, something for the books, that.

So till here folks, my dearest beloved readers, till my next flight...